Guest blogger, Scott Paul Morgan, shares his excellent piece about some of the major questions we adoptees ask. A must read, his critical thinking approach is incredible. Would love to hear your thoughts as well! Please note we all have our own voice to share, please respect his words that he has chosen to share with us. Thank you :)
I saw this posted on a friend’s Facebook page today and it moved me to write about it, because I’ve seen this question asked so many times, and I’ve thought to myself often, “What if I hadn’t been born?” I’ve also heard the other spin, from people who claimed they loved me, “What if you’d never been adopted?”
“What if my parents had aborted me?” I thought about those words all the time growing up, they were always in the back of my mind as a young adult because I was often triggered by feelings of self-doubt, feelings of unworthiness, of imposter syndrome and depression. I would have never been faced with such pain to endure. The shoulders of children were not designed to bear the weight of the sins of the father.
So, whenever someone who’s had the privilege of being raised by their own biological parents, who’s never known self-doubt, asks me this in a debate about abortion, I ask them, “What if you’d been adopted? What if your parents looked nothing like you, didn’t bond with you like other parents did, and you were prone to mental illness and substance abuse simply because you had two parents you looked nothing like and a family who treated you like outsiders?”
“When you can answer me that, you’ll be closer to understanding the decision that young mothers have to make before asking for an abortion and what it’s like to having been born into unfortunate and unprivileged circumstances. Then, you’ll be closer to understanding why women’s rights are important and the severity of their decisions.”
Yes, my life would have been very different if my mother had chosen to abort me, and yes, my life is certainly better because of her choice, just as it is hers and my father’s, because that choice came around full circle and they know I’m alive and we have a family relationship. But don’t think for one moment that my life or my mother’s has been on Easy Street because of adoption.
I think I can speak to this person who asked: “what if your parents had aborted you”. If you don’t know my backstory of someone’s life, you’re asking this question is a quintessential part of why you are ignorant about the subject of abortion and women’s rights. Yes, my parents could have made the decision to abort me.
But mine didn’t, even though my mother was underage, had no support from my father and made the choice to carry me to term despite the stigma from the family, her friends at school and the church community, putting me up for adoption to be raised by two people who loved me like their own and wanted me regardless of where I came from.
If you would like to connect with Scott, please reach out to him here. Also make sure to check out some of his other pieces on his website, click here to view. Interested in sharing your story? E-mail us, we would love to share your voice too!