Guest blogger from adopteecommunity shares their journey and the story behind the creation of adopteecommunity. Please note this is their personal story, please respect their journey they have chosen to share with us. Thank you :)
Hi! I’m a Canadian high school student. Unlike my parents, I’m Chinese and I am one of the thousands of chinese children who were scattered around the world after the implementation of the one child policy.
I am sure any adoptee would agree that adoption changed their life. Now, I didn’t suddenly realize that adoption changed my life, it happened slowly. When I was very young, aside from not looking like my parents, I didn’t feel too different from other kids. However, my peers noticed my differences immediately, especially that I didn’t look like my parents. After finding out I was adopted, I would and still do get asked questions, such as had I ever met my birth mom? I started to question my adoption. Why? was probably the biggest question I had. At the age of six, I wrote journal entries where I imagined that my adoption had never happened and I was unable to understand why my “real” mom sent me away. As I grew older my questions became more complex. I wanted to know my whole story. Did I have siblings? Maybe I was one of the children who were human trafficked. The endless questions made me doubt my whole life. I also felt the tremendous shame of not being connected to my own birth country. My birth country is the only connection between my birth parents and myself and I am unable to access it because I can’t speak the language or understand the culture. It breaks my heart to know that I would need a translator to speak to my own birth mother.
My thoughts and fears about adoption are overwhelming at times and I feel alone. The traditional idea that adoptive parents save lives by adopting really makes me unable to express my thoughts about adoption with most people. I can’t talk about my adoption with my friends because they can’t understand and don’t want to. My parents are both very supportive but I am unable to talk about my feelings about adoption with them because I feel guilty. I feel like I can’t complain about something my parents did to save my life. I tried to find a community online but I could only find groups for adoptive parents. I knew there must be other adoptees who need an outlet and a space to speak openly and honestly about their adoption so I made one.
Adopteecommunity is my Instagram account for adoptees. It is a platform for adoptees to share their feelings and find support. It is focused on the adoptee experience which has traditionally been ignored. After making the
account, I was surprised by how many adoptees shared my experiences and that others were interested in hearing them. Having proof that I wasn’t alone in how I felt was a huge comfort. I stay motivated to keep growing adopteecommunity because adoptees have come and shared their experiences there. It feels incredible to see other adoptees gain confidence by sharing their story because of the support. In some way I also feel like I’m educating non-adoptees about adoptee experiences. While adoptees can relate to our content, others can inform themselves about adoption to gain a better understanding of the true adoptee experience. Adoptees deserve a voice to share their experiences while providing others with a more honest idea of what adoption actually looks like.
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