Recent Posts

Archive

Tags

Guest Blog: Can You Start at the Beginning?

Guest blogger, Amanda Medina, shares her personal story as an adoptee and how she came to create an amazing platform, This Adoptee Life. She believes in adoptees sharing their story, "...will help them (fellow adoptees) know that every single one of us has a story, has a voice and has the right to use our voice to tell our own story in our own way." Please note this is her personal story and we all have our own voice to share, please respect her journey she has chosen to share with us. Thank you :)

Can you start at the beginning?


Most people can start their story at the beginning. Most people would start at birth and go, I was born this and this date, I was born at this and this hospital, weighing so and so much. My mother has told me I was born after that many hours of labor and that the birth was [insert words used by mother to describe her experience of the birth]. I had this much hair, I was this long and when newborn I would, and on and on it could go. Most has someone in their life who was present at their birth, or at least in the first few months of life. Most people can tell their birth story, can tell their family lineage, can tell their newborn stories, can tell their first couple of years of life, from having heard it told to them by someone present at the time.


I cannot.


I cannot tell you a single thing about the first year and a half of my life. No one who is in my life today can recount any of the events that I went through, from birth until roughly 2 years of age. And no one who was part of my life then is present in my life today.


Do you think that would matter to you? Erasing the first two years of your life. Essentially ripping those two pages out, burn them and make sure they are never to be accessed. Would it matter not having access to that information about yourself? I can tell you that it would.


It would matter to your sense of self. It would matter to your sense of identity. It would matter to your sense of belonging in the world. It would matter to your sense of being part of humanity. It would matter. It does matter. For me and for many of my fellow adoptees who are in the same situation as I.


Many of us are transnational adoptees. Many of us are transracial adoptees. Many of us are both. Many of us are adoptees without access to our original birth certificate. Many of us are products of closed adoptions. All of us are expected to go through life without information so defining and so close to our identity that most people never question having it. Information so natural to have that most people could never imagine not having it. But many of us adoptees will never have it.


As a young girl I was not interested in knowing any of that. Adoption was a fact and I was fine with it. I was fine. Really, I was fine. The success story of adoption, I would call myself if people wanted to talk adoption with me. I was fine. Totally fine.

As a teenager I was not interested in talking about it. I was adopted and I was fine with it. I was fine. I would keep myself in check. I would do what I was expected. I was fine. Good grades. Friends with everyone. I was fine.


As a young adult I was not interested in exploring any of it. I was fine. I had moved to where I could be myself. I had followed my dream of moving abroad from the country I grew up in. I was fine. Totally fine. I got good grades in college and made friends. I was fine.


A few more years and suddenly, I was not fine anymore. At age 32, happily married, mother of two children, living in what I considered to be my happy place, with everything going well in life, it all came crushing down. I was not fine anymore. I would not be fine for several years. Anxiety entered the picture. Anger outbursts became a daily thing. Crying. Grieving. Processing. Understanding. Coming out of the fog. Falling apart. Going to the darkest of places. Fighting to make it through day by day. Breaking down.


Finally, emerging authentic, standing back up, and being able to tell my story.

The story I was not interested in knowing before Out of fear. The story I was not interested in talking about. Out of fear. The story I was not interested in exploring. Out of fear. But that’s the story I would learn to own, learn to tell, learn to be. The story where I would find ME.


And that is the story I tell on my blog. That is the story I tell any chance that I get. My story. My truth. That is the story that I dream will inspire other fellow adoptees to own their story and to tell their story. That is the story I hope will help them know that every single one of us has a story, has a voice and has the right to use our voice to tell our own story in our own way.


This Adoptee Life is the website and blog that I started about a year and a half ago, where I share both my story and reflections around adoption, in writing. This Adoptee Life is also a platform where fellow adoptees are welcome to share their story, in their own words. Since day one, I have dreamed of creating a community of adoptees, and allies who are non-adoptees, in a space where we can come together and support one another, and dive deep into the real conversations that need to happen around adoption.


The conversation that doesn’t shy away from why and how adoption is a women’s rights issue. The conversation that doesn’t shy away from why and how adoption is an issue of inequality. The conversation that doesn’t shy away from how and why adoption is an issue closely connected to privilege and race. And so on and so forth.


I am finally working on setting up this community on This Adoptee Life website and hope to see you become part of it, so that we can grow strong together and work for real change for the next generation of adoptees, so that we can work for real change in the adoption narrative, and so that we can work to advocate for family preservation first and foremost.


I have found the confidence to use my voice, I have found a way to speak with conviction about adoption, but I am only one person, only one voice.


Please, join me and together we can make real change happen. Change happens when enough people care, and right now our work is to make people understand why they need to care.

Lives depend on it.


Thank you for reading my words.


All my love to all of you.


Xo

Amanda

This Adoptee Life™

PS. We are all in this together!

Amanda is a transnational, transracial adoptee who was born in Colombia, adopted to Sweden and live in the Unites States today. She has grown into her voice as an adoptee over the last few years and today she works hard to raise awareness about the problems within adoption. Her finishing line goal is to make adoptees feel heard and validated and to make people understand the importance of advocating for family preservation and changing the adoption narrative to be based on adoptee voices and perspectives.


You can find Amanda, connect with her and see what she is working on in the adoptee community on her website and social media accounts.


This Adoptee Life Website – www.thisadopteelife.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thisadopteelife

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thisadopteelife/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/thisadopteelife




ARSS-LOGO-October-2018-t.png

We understand how important the privacy of personal information is to our users. We understand that your privacy matters and we respect your privacy choices. We make no guarantees that your search will be successful, nor shall we be held liable for the outcome of your search results. The information on this website is for general information purposes only. Nothing on this or associated pages, documents, comments, answers, emails, or other communications should be taken as official advice for any individual case or situation. To read more about our Privacy Policy, please click here

©2020 by Adoption Reunion Search & Support. All Rights Reserved.