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Dear Angel: Suggestions for Adoptive Parents Supporting Their Child During Their Search

November 12, 2018

Dear Angel: Do you have any suggestions for adoptive parents to support their children when their search isn’t easy?”



Dear Friend: Great Question! The task of helping your child search for their birth family can be a difficult journey—It can take an emotional toll when searching appears to hit a wall. No search is exactly alike. Here are some tips for supporting your child in their search.



Help your children in the search process.

Sit down with your children and come up with a plan together. Let them ask questions and write each one on a paper. Come up with ideas together and make a check list of places to search. Adoptions RSS is a wealth of information in the searching process. More than anything, make time for your child’s search. Put aside time on regular basis to discuss progress. Go out for donuts on Saturday morning or a coffee outing on Sunday afternoon. Show your child that their search is of equal importance to you.


General tips:

  • Get your original birth certificate from the state your child’s adoption was finalized 

  • Contact the Adoption Agency

  • Search for Existing Adoption Files and Information 

  • Sign up for Adoption Reunion Registries

  • Use Social Media for Adoption Searches

  • Use DNA Testing for Difficult Adoption Searches


Feelings Matter

Let your child know you are a team. It’s normal to feel pangs of jealously or hurt when your child wants to actively search for