February is a fantastic month (18 years reunited, I can say that now)! This month we have Valentines Day, a few days off for a couple of President's birthdays. And it's the month of my birth. I never used to like my birth day - day, that much, that was until after I had found the woman who had given me 'my' birth day!
As an adopted child, of course my adopted parents loved me. So did my adopted siblings, my adopted grandparents, aunts and uncles. But I never felt it was the same kind of love a child should know, from his/her birth mother. "Those who know their mothers cannot imagine what it is like not to know the woman who brought you into this world. What it is like to be forbidden by law to see her face, hear her voice, know her name. No one can imagine it, because it is unimaginable" quoted from one of my favorite books Journey of the Adopted Self, written by Betty Jean Lifton. Betty Jean, who died in 2010 - was an adoptee and an adoption reform advocate, she was a pioneer in world of adoption. She showed the world that secrecy in the traditional closed adoption, is an underlying cause of our psychic reality. Some adoptees process their adoptions well, and others not so much. There was no flyer attached to me when I was brought into another family.
Fast forward. Not much has changed. Legislators, are still trying to keep us quiet.......As a mom myself, I understand what it is to love my child. I also understand what it would have felt like, if I had been faced with the same situation as my own birth mother had found herself. How terrifying that would have been. In my work, I have met and talked with so many beautiful, caring, loving unforgettable, birth mothers. Including my own. It seems the underlying theme for them all is to know that 'we are okay'. I recently had a conversation with a woman, who had given her daughter up 28 years ago. She said that as a birth mother her biggest fear is not knowing if the people she gave her most precious gift in this whole world to, would love her daughter the same as she would. She just wants to feel the relief of knowing that her baby girl is safe and okay. It brought me to tears, knowing these same words spoken to me by my own birth mother, 18 years ago. These selfless women, our birth mothers, have (had) such a burden they carry. And always will. We need to change the world, with love. We need to stand together and stand up for Adoptees Rights, (birth mothers and fathers too) as Betty Jean did. She can still be our beacon, as she was mine so many years ago.
This month, I am giving you all a birth day gift. I am donating another DNA Kit. Thanks go out again, to our very generous donors. Let's get this DNA ball rolling. We all want to one day have the chance to hug our birth mothers, and say 'yes, we are okay'!
So stay tuned to our Facebook page for the upcoming Ancestry Kit Give Away details!